A to Z Blogging Challenge "Some Days I just want to Quit"

Some Days I just want to Quit

The coffee cup sticky note with
Col. 3:23-24 written on it.
I also keep notes my kids write
me and one of my favorite
pictures of Morgan on my
bulletin board. 

Sometimes I just want to quit.

I can keep up (for the most part) with the laundry and cooking and dishes, but it’s the added stresses that almost do me in some days.

The troubled relationships. The money worries. Wondering what’s going to happen in a week, in a month, in a year. The list of sick friends and relatives that just keeps getting longer and longer. Troubled friends. Families mourning the loss of a loved one. The list of things I want to do…and the list of things I actually get done. The things that just seem to take so much longer than they should.

When I become overwhelmed I try to remember to look at my bulletin board, on which I have a sticky note in the shape of a coffee cup. When I helped with a women’s retreat last year the leader asked me to write encouraging verses on the coffee sticky notes (the theme of the retreat was “My Overflowing Cup” so everything was coffee-themed) We placed the sticky notes around the rooms that the retreat took place in so others could see them and be encouraged.

The sticky note on my bulletin board reminds me, “Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ.” Colossians 3:23-24

Then I remember—I’m not here on earth for myself; I’m here to do the Lord’s work. I need to let Him take care of everything else (especially the things I can’t do anything about…like most of them). He knows about my troubled relationships. He knows about our money worries. He hears my prayers. He knows every single one of the people who are ill, or mourning, or suffering in any way. He knows every single need I have, and every need of every member of my family.

My job is to work for Him. The day will come when I receive my inheritance from Him, and none of the stresses and strains and worries on earth will matter one little bit. And the time I spend wanting to quit will be a millisecond compared to living in heaven with Him for all eternity.

Suddenly, I don’t want to quit any more.

Thank You, Lord, for reminding me that what I do isn’t for me, but for you. Please bless me as I work today. Please lead and guide me in my work for You. Amen.  

I'm also blogging at Nebraska Family Times 

Click over there to see what I have to finish 

for the May issue of the Nebraska Family Times

in the post "Not Quite Done."

A to Z Blogging Challenge "Prepare for Sick Days"

“Prepare for Sick Days”

by Shelly Burke

(This article is adapted from the book Home is Where the Mom Is;

 A Christian Mom's Guide to Caring for Herself, Her Family, and Her Home by Shelly Burke)

Running out of “sick day” supplies usually means a very inconvenient trip to the store with sick kids, or just as bad, a sick mom. Illnesses rarely come at convenient times, and your first prayer is probably for Jesus to come and heal whoever is sick!

Start your own preparation for sick days, today. Begin by making a comprehensive list of “sick day” supplies for both adults and children in your home.

Your list should include:

• Over-the-counter medications to treat fever, pain, upset stomach, diarrhea, constipation, cold symptoms, cough, nausea and vomiting, diaper rash, and so on, in age-appropriate form (drops, liquid, chewable, tablets) for ever member of your family.
• Keep in mind that some of these symptoms—cough, fever, etc.—may be the body’s way of getting rid of harmful substances, and you shouldn’t always treat them. Ask your doctor or a nurse for guidelines as when to treat them.
• Learn to read labels. May medications contain several ingredients; for example, cold medications may also contain acetaminophen (for fever or pain). If you give additional acetaminophen along with the cold medicine, you may be giving too much acetaminophen, which can be very dangerous. 

o       Medications to treat any chronic illness like asthma or diabetes. When a child      or adult with a chronic illness is sick, the dosage of medicine to treat the chronic illness might need to be changed. Check with your doctor if you have questions about doing so.

o       If your child gets frequent ear infections, ask the doctor to prescribe a bottle of pain killing ear drops which will help until you can get the child to the doctor. The drops will not treat the infection, only the pain, so it is still necessary to see the doctor.

o       Electrolyte replacement fluid/popsicles (like Pedialyte) for infants or toddlers who have diarrhea and/or are vomiting.

o       Soda and/or juice to sooth upset tummies and replace fluids lost by vomiting/diarrhea.

o       Miscellaneous supplies: Thermometer and probe covers, humidifier and distilled water, tissues.

o       Comfort foods like soup, mashed potatoes, rice, applesauce, jello, pudding, popsicles.

o       Activities to keep kids occupied when they’re on the road to wellness but bored, and to keep them busy if you are sick. When they’re on sale purchase coloring and activity books, DVDs, crayons, markers, craft projects, and so on. Keep these hidden until they’re needed!

o       If your mother’s instinct tells you your kids are on the verge of getting sick, or a virus is running      rampant at school, double check your supplies and stock up if necessary.

This list is just a basic suggested list. Personalize it to fit your family. Illnesses usually don’t occur at predictable times or when it’s convenient to go to the store for supplies. Stock up, using the tips in the post  Never Run Out and you’ll be ready for anything!

  

I’m also blogging at Nebraska Family Times.

Today’s post is titled “Peace” and is about David finding peace despite

the turmoil in his life. 

A to Z Blogging Challenge "Ordering Morgan's Graduation Cake"

 “Ordering Morgan's Graduation Cake”

(HyVee had a cupcake tower
on display. We ultimately
decided on traditional cakes
but treated ourselves to a
cupcake after ordering.
YUMMY!) 

Yesterday Morgan and I ordered her graduation cakes. It only took a few minutes to choose the flavors (one chocolate, one white), frosting (buttercream of course), and decorations (bright flowers). I walked out of the grocery store excited but a little sad. As I drove home (Morgan stayed in town with a friend) I began to think about Morgan’s growing up years and the future. Since I knew today’s letter for the A to Z Challenge is “O,” I thought about “O” words that apply to parenting.

• Only 25 days until graduation. WOW. And YIKES! 

• Obeying God’s command of baptism (Matthew 28:19-20) and instilling His Word into her as He commanded in Deuteronomy: “Fix these words upon mine in your hearts and minds…Teach them to your children…” (Deuteronomy 11:18-19) Now we pray that she will continue to seek Him and study His Word as she moves on to this next stage in her life. Are you following these commands as you raise your children? 

• Observing her growing up. What a blessing it’s been to have the joy of watching Morgan grow from a child into a young woman! Years ago at MOPS our MOPS mentor said, “The days with young children may seem long, but the years will seem short.” I have found that to be so very true! Especially since our kids became teenagers, the years have just flown by. Parents, treasure every moment with your kids! 

• Obedience. Children are commanded to “obey your parents.” (Deuteronomy 20:12) Unfortunately children don’t naturally obey; they have to be taught to do so. It’s not always easy, but it is necessary. There were times that Tim and I had to show both Cody and Morgan that they were expected to listen to and obey us, and that they would face consequences if they did not. Parents: YOU ARE IN CHARGE. It’s part of your job to raise your children to respect and obey authority; you are preparing them for “real life” (which can be very difficult if they don’t know how to respect others). 

• Obstacles. Morgan has struggled with obstacles—all kids do! She had an especially difficult time when she changed schools in 8^th grade. Thankfully, with much prayer and the help of caring people, she made it through that tough time and has loved school since the first hard weeks of that year. It is very hard to watch a child face obstacles, but learning to work through them is a necessary life skill. Don’t be afraid to let your child struggle, whether it’s with a zipper or homework or something bigger. Pray for knowledge as to when to intervene, with professional help if necessary. 

• Over and over…Tim and I have prayed for our children almost constantly since they were born…praying for their safety as they drives to and from school…as Morgan went through tough times at school…when they were sick…for Cody to make Godly decisions as he is at college and away from us…for Morgan to choose the college that will be right for her. When I am worried about either of them (or anyone else I love) I remember this command: “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” Philippians 4:6 God hears our prayers! Consider keeping a prayer journal so you can see His answers to your prayers.   

• Over and over…listening to “Pomp and Circumstance” on YouTube….hoping to get most of my crying at the song done before graduation day (it worked when I did it before Cody graduated!).

 May God bless you as you raise your children! Remember to invite Him to be your partner in doing so.

I’m also blogging at Nebraska Family Times.

Today you’ll find my thoughts about a song that kept going

through my mind, “Open the eyes of my heart, Lord”

A to Z Challenge, Book Review, "A Chocolate Life; Savoring God's Sweet Grace"

“A Chocolate Life; Savoring God’s Sweet Grace”

By Deb Burma

Review by Shelly Burke

Who doesn’t love at least a bit of chocolate once in a while? Deb Burma’s new devotion book, A Chocolate Life; Savoring God’s Sweet Grace, shows readers how life can be like chocolate—sweet, bitter, light and smooth, or dark and lumpy. In devotions with titles that include Chocolate-frosted Grace, Hot Cupcake Aromatherapy, Chocolate Gifts, Choice Morsels, and Not by Chocolate Alone, Burma takes examples and illustrations from her life and shows us how we can apply them to our own lives. In every devotion (there are 30 devotions in the book) she shows us how God sustains us, forgives us, and provides us with His endless grace. As an extra treat readers will find nine chocolate-based Burma family recipes in the book. YUM!

One of my favorite devotions is Chocolate Gifts. In this devotion Burma relates how her kids sometimes hoard the chocolate gifts they’ve received…only to find later that the months-old stash is stale and hard. She reminds us to not to do the same with God’s gifts to us, but to use them and share them! God’s gifts will never spoil but, as Burma points out, “if we don’t use them, other people will miss out on the rich blessings and grace of God that they could receive through us.”

The devotions are quick to read and packed with God’s Word and meaning. Burma encourages us to take in “nuggets and morsels of God’s Word (and chocolate)” and make Him a priority in our lives—just as each of us is a priority to Him. She encourages us to make God’s Word available at all times—by having a Bible handy, written verses or passages posted around our homes, and a devotion book in our car or purse to read while waiting.

A Chocolate Life; Savoring God’s Sweet Grace  is the perfect size and price (quantity discounts available) to wrap up with a candy bar or other chocolate treat, or tuck into a greeting card and give as a gift on a special occasion or “just because.” Every reader of A Chocolate Life will “Taste and see that the Lord is good.” (Psalm 34:8)

To read more by Deb Burma, check out her blog at Fragrant Offerings .

(Now that I’m done writing this review, I’m going to go find…some chocolate!)

------------

To purchase A Chocolate Life; Savoring God’s Sweet Grace devotion book, magnets, or Scripture cards, ask at your Christian bookstore or go to www.cph.org (Concordia Publishing House).

It’s FREEBIE FRIDAY!

To win one of three FREE copies of “A Chocolate Life,” just

Leave a comment on this blog or at the Facebook page “Home

is Where the Mom Is”! Three winners will be randomly chosen and

you’ll be contacted for your mailing address.

Blogging A to Z Challenge "His Kids Camp"

"His Kids Camp" 
"To share the love of Christ with all of His children"
by Shelly Burke, Editor and Publisher


(This article appeared in the March issue of the Nebraska Family Times. For more information about the Nebraska Family Times, a pro-family, pro-life monthly newspaper with a mission "to inspire, encourage, and motivate you in your Christian walk, go to Nebraska Family Times.)

Leila and Dave Rehbein, His Kids Camp Co-Directors, were in the midst of adopting two of their special-needs foster children (they have five biological children and 4 adopted children) when Leila realized that God did not want her to only care for a few foster kids in her own home, He wanted her to take on a whole camp full of His kids!

Leila and Dave had been volunteering at Camp Luther for several years (and Dave is on the Board of Directors) when the pastor who was running the Handicamp program took a call out of state. When Leila and Dave were asked to take over the program, Leila said she was “Giddy with excitement at the prospect of leading this ministry!“ That summer she and her husband took over Camp Luther’s Handicamp and later changed the name to His Kids Camp, which grew into His Kids Camp Ministry.

As described on the His Kids Camp website (www.hiskidscamp.org) His Kids Camp is a Christian residential camp (at Camp Luther near Schuyler) for developmentally challenged individuals age 13 through older adults.

The His Kids Camp Ministry has evolved into a variety of camps and retreats for campers and campers and their families. As parents of several special needs children, Leila and Dave know how important it is for parents to have a temporary break from the often exhausting challenges they face. His Kids Camp provides respite for those parents.

“Buddy” Volunteers

Every His Kids camper is paired with a “buddy” volunteer. That “buddy” stays with the camper during the time he or she is at camp. The “buddy” volunteers don’t need to have any experience with special needs people, just a desire to share the love of Jesus. Each volunteer is trained before the campers arrive; volunteers have access to all the information about their camper, including a form filled out by previous year’s buddy. This way the volunteer knows of the camper’s special needs, behaviors, preferences, etc.

Volunteers assist during the week as the campers enjoy indoor and outdoor Christ-centered activities, including a talent show. Leila says, “All of the activities are specifically geared to help each camper be successful. We boost self-esteem and build confidence!”

Volunteers entering 9^th grade and up—including college students and adults—are welcomed. Leila reports that this year a grant will cover all of the expenses of volunteers, who, as a result, will be able to attend camp for free! Training, room and board, and programming is provided.

Leila says “Being a “buddy” to a special needs camper is a rewarding experience. It isn’t always easy, but every day they learn more and more of what it means to be a servant of Christ, to show God’s love to and for their camper. Volunteer buddies go home with a confidence that they have made a difference in the life of their camper!”

                                                                                                               

His Kids Campers

The special-needs campers are changed as well. Some of them have a hard time fitting in with other campers at first, and some have behavior problems that have prevented them from attending other camps. Leila and her staff make an effort to accommodate and work with these campers, sometimes assigning the camper an extra buddy for the week. The application form asks parents/guardians to list the camper’s abilities, challenges, needs, behaviors and how they are handled, activities the camper enjoys, and so on, enabling the staff and volunteers to have a detailed picture of how they can assure the camper enjoys camp.

His Kids Camp Needs…

Volunteers! For more details and application forms go to www.hiskidscamp.org. At least 15 volunteers are needed for each camp in June.

Nurses! Leila is a nurse but as the camp has grown, she needs other nurses to give medications during camp. The nurse (Leila would prefer to have two nurses for weekly camps) needs to be at camp from 4PM Wednesday-11AM on Saturday. For weekend camps one nurse is needed from Saturday at 8AM-Sunday at 4PM.

Financial Support for Campers! Many campers and their families are not able to afford camp. His Kids Camp is a unique opportunity for special needs campers to share the love of Jesus and feel accepted and welcome. Leila says “My goal is to have a LOW or NO COST camp for our special needs campers.” Please contact her for more information.

Supplies! Supplies needed include; legal size paper (to print Bible stories and activity booklets), construction paper, Christian word search or crossword puzzle books (easy to medium levels), graham crackers, marshmallows, and ready made chocolate frosting, white t-shirts size large and extra large (about 100 t-shirts are needed for a craft project), bingo prizes, 6 adult large-size life vests, old-fashioned round wooden clothes pins, and special products for weed clean up; please contact Camp Luther for the specific products needed.

Please prayerfully consider the above needs and be part of sharing the love of Christ with His Kids!

For more information please contact Leila Rehbein, His Kids Camp Director at Camp Luther of Ne, Inc. at (402) 981-5732 or e-mail leilahkcdirector@aol.com or go to His Kids Camp

His Kids Camp Dates 2012:

His Kids Retreat Weekend (ages 13 and over) April 20-22

His Kids Camp Family Retreat Weekend (ages 5 and older) April 27-29

His Kids Camp (age 35 and over) June 6-9

His Kids Camps (age 13 and over) June 13-16; June 20-23; June 27-30

His Kids Camp Retreat Weekend (ages 13 and over) October 6-7; October 13-14

($20 discount on all camp registrations received and paid in full before April 15, 2012!)

I'm also blogging at www.nebraskafamilytimes.blogspot.com. 

See my post today, "The King who Tried to Hide from God." 

Blogging from A to Z Challenge, "Goals"

“Goals”

How many goals did you set prior to Jan. 1 of this year? And how many of them have you accomplished? How many are you still working on? How many of them do you actually remember? Um...yeah, me too. 

While our society is very goal-oriented, it can be difficult to make good goals that you'll be able to work towards and achieve. Setting and working towards goals, though, gives a focus to your work—whether work as a mom, home-manager, nurse, or any other occupation. And reaching a goal gives a feeling of satisfaction and confidence.

Use these simple goal-setting guidelines and steps to improve yourself and/or evaluate your work as a mom as a business owner, or to assess how you’re doing as a home manager (which all moms are, whether or not they have a paying, out-of-home job).

To be Effective, Goals Must Be…

1. Measurable. You must be able to measure your goal so you can tell whether you’ve met it or not.

o       It’s impossible to measure goals like, “I will exercise more” or “This year I’m going to save money.”

o       You can, however, measure these goals: “I will walk for 30 minutes a day, three or four times a week” or “I will save $100 every month.”

o       Goals don’t have to contain numbers to be measurable, as long as you yourself can measure them. For example, one of my goals is, “My home will be clean enough that I will be comfortable if a guest drops by unexpectedly.” Feeling “comfortable” is different for everyone, but I can measure my own personal level of “comfortable.”

2. Attainable/realistic. Good goals make you stretch a little to meet them but are not set so high that they’re unreachable. For example, “I will lose 25 lbs. for swimsuit season, in two months,” is not attainable! A more realistic goal might be, “I will lose 1 lb. a week for the next two months.”
3. Meaningful. If you don’t care about having an immaculate lawn and huge garden, you’ll have a hard time working toward that goal. If you hate doing crunches, don’t make them part of your exercise routine!

 How to Set Goals

1. Write them down and share them with someone. Writing down goals makes them real and commits you to working on them and sharing them with someone else makes you accountable. You’ll be much more likely to stick to your exercise routine when you know a friend is going to ask you if you’ve done it!
2. Document results. Keep track of your progress by putting a star on your calendar when you exercise or keep a journal of the money you’ve saved. You’ll feel a sense of accomplishment at working toward and meeting your goals, and having visible proof will provide evidence of what you’re doing.
3. Make intermediate goals. If you have a big goal, or a long-term one, you’ll need intermediate goals. For example, if your goal is “Clean my whole house, basement to attic, including all of the drawers and closets, by this time next year,” you’ll be overwhelmed without smaller goals. Your intermediate goals might include, “This month I’ll clean my bedroom. Next month I’ll clean all of the storage room in the basement.”
4. Evaluate your goals. Evaluate each goal a month or so after you make it. If you’ve met the goal, congratulations! It’s time to make a new goal.

o       If you haven’t met it, however, re-evaluate your goal. Did you not meet it because it was unrealistic? If so, re-write it. Was it not met because of unanticipated circumstances, like a car repair bill or illness? Try it for another month. Is the goal still important to you? If not, drop it or change it to a goal that does matter to you.

o       It’s OK to revise, change, or even drop your goals. They’re not set in stone, they’re a stepping stone to what and where and who you want to be.

5. Give yourself rewards! This is the FUN part of making goals. Along with the satisfaction of meeting your goals, rewards will motivate you! Just don’t reward a week of regular exercising with a hot fudge sundae! Base rewards on what motivates you. Maybe you’ll reward your regular exercise with a new workout shirt, or getting your closet cleaned by soaking in a bubble bath while reading a new novel.

 Don’t be intimidated by all of these guidelines and steps to making your goals! The process is vital and really very simple to follow. You’ll feel a wonderful sense of accomplishment when you work toward and meet your goals!  

Home is Where the Mom Is; A Christian Mom’s Guide to Caring for Herself, Her Family, and Her Home lists suggested goals at the end of each chapter so readers can, if they want to work on that area of their lives, measure their accomplishments.

I’m also blogging at www.nebraskafamilytimes.blogspot.com, my other blog. Check out today’s post, titled “Gravel Roads.” 

Blogging A to Z Challenge

“55 Things you can do in Just Five Minutes”

AND "Freebie Friday!"

It’s Freebie Friday! When you comment on this blog entry you’ll be entered to win one of three personally autographed copies of Home is Where the Mom Is; A Christian Mom’s Guide to Caring for Herself, Her Family, and Her Home. Winners will be randomly chosen from the comments. Tell me what you can do in just five minutes, or which of these suggestions you’re going to try next time you have a few minutes to spare. Winners will be notified by e-mail, so please make sure we can click on your name and contact you for your address and to whom you’d like the book autographed. GOOD LUCK!

You’re waiting for the kids to collect everything they need before you drive them to school. Or you’re husband is just finishing a phone call before you head out for a date. Or the pork chops are almost done defrosting in the microwave.

Rather than “frittering the time away” (as my wise father would say), challenge yourself to accomplish something. You’ll be surprised at what you can accomplish in just a few minutes! This is by no means a complete list, but will get you into the habit of using even just a few minutes to do a simple task.

In your bedroom:

1. Organize one dresser drawer.
2. Straighten your shoes.
3. Sort the stuff on your bedside table.
4. Give your husband a long hug and a big kiss.

In the kitchen:

5. Clear out the dishwasher (I’ve timed myself—it usually takes less than 3 minutes).
6. Discard leftovers from the refrigerator.
7. Go through the pantry and make a grocery list.
8. Start your meal plan for the next week.
9. Clean one cupboard.
10. When you’re cooking, brown an extra pound of hamburger so you can make a quick casserole on a rushed day.

In the bathroom:

11. Fold a load of clothes.
12. Toss your old toothbrushes and get out new ones.
13. Clear off the counter.
14. Experiment with a new makeup look or hairstyle.
15. Check your supply of toilet paper, soup, shampoo, etc., and add to your list if any are low.

In the car:

16. Sort through the glove box.
17. Take a few deep breaths to relax.
18. Read a magazine article.
19. File or buff your finger nails.
20. Do isometric exercises; tense and relax your abs, for example.
21. Gather all of the sippy cups, empty water bottles, tissues, and loose pieces of paper in the back seat.

When you’re talking on the phone:

22. Set the table.
23. Sort laundry.
24. Iron.
25. Lotion your legs.
26. Sit with your feet up.

Before bed:

27. Get out the clothes you’ll wear in the morning.
28. Put the dishes in the dishwasher.
29. Get the first load of clothes ready to wash.
30. Talk—really talk, and listen—to your husband.
31. Read a short devotion or chapter of Proverbs.

In the living room:

32. Straighten out the DVDs.
33. Turn over and fluff the couch cushions.
34. Water the plants.
35. Pick up everything off the floor so it’s easy to vacuum.
36. Play a game of Chinese Checkers.

At your desk:

37. Write a thank-you note, or note of encouragement.
38. Look at your birthday and anniversary list for the next month and check your supply of cards for those occasions.
39. Jot down ideas for your next project.
40. Check your supply of paper clips, pens, sticky notes, etc.

Through the whole house (or at least several rooms):

41. Empty all of the wastebaskets.
42. Pick up all of the stray coats, shoes, socks, towels, etc.
43. Collect all of the glasses, dishes and silverware.
44. Spray air freshener in every room.
45. Have a tickle fight!
46. Call a friend just to say, “I’m thinking of and praying for you.”

For your health:

47. Jump rope.
48. Learn to take your pulse.
49. Walk around the block or go up and down the stairs.
50. Stretch.
51. Eat a piece of fruit.

With your kids:

52. Talk about the day.
53. Say a prayer together.
54. Play tag.
55. Hug!

 You can see from this list that there are many things you can accomplish in just a few minutes! Change your mindset; rather than thinking “It’s only a few minutes; I can’t get anything done!” challenge yourself—“What can I accomplish in five minutes?”

  

(Excerpted from Home is Where the Mom Is; A Christian Mom’s Guide to Caring for Herself, Her Family, and Her Home. For ordering information, click on the link in the sidebar.)

I’m also blogging at Nebraska Family Times. Today’s post is titled “Good Friday?”

A to Z Blogging Challenge

“Expectations—Revising Unrealistic Ones”

(Adapted from Home is Where the Mom Is; A Christian Mom’s Guide to Caring for Herself, Her Family, and Her Home. See sidebar for ordering information.)

(Be sure to check back tomorrow for "Freebie Friday"!) 

Unrealistic Expectations

Unrealistic expectations. I knew I had them when my kids were young and I was at home with them all day…but I didn’t know I’d have them even now, when I’m…um…40-something…and one child is in college and one is about to graduate.

When my kids were toddlers I expected that I would be the type of mom to sew all of their clothes (my mom sewed all of the *matching* clothes my sisters and I wore), complete multiple craft projects (again, like my mom), cook three well-balanced and yummy-tasting meals every day (my mom was a super-mom!).

                                                                                                                           

For a very long time I tried to do all of the above…feeling that I was a failure for not being just like my mom. 

Unrealistic expectations can be demoralizing to any mom, and in your life as a “real life” mom you’ll probably have to change some of your expectations about every-day activities, hobbies, and projects.

Instead of looking at decreasing your unrealistic expectations of yourself as a failure, look at it as giving priority to what is most important—your kids and your husband, and your own sanity.

Detecting Unrealistic Expectations

Whether you’re a new mom or an almost-empty-nest mom, if an item shows up on your to-do list week after week—whether it’s a dreaded chore or something that “should” be fun—ask yourself if it’s really worth doing. Despite the expectations of your in-laws or friends, it’s not necessary to move all the furniture every time you vacuum (or every other time…or…more than once every six months)!

What about “fun” things you “should” enjoy doing, like planting flowers or doing craft projects with your kids? If you don’t enjoy doing them, find something else—something you do enjoy, to do! Just because someone else finds happiness in an activity does not mean you have to. Life is to short to guilt yourself into doing something you don’t enjoy.

Revising Unrealistic Expectations (and saving your sanity)

Remember the old cliché’ “If something is worth doing, it’s worth doing right?” My motto is, “Some things are worth doing 100%, but many things can be done 50% or less and still be acceptable.” Save your sanity—lower your standards! Look at the activities on which you spend a lot of time doing to your (maybe unrealistic) and figure out how you can lower those standards.

• Rather than sort old baby clothes by age, size, and season, sort them by boy clothes and girl clothes, or by size.
• Instead of pressuring yourself to cook 21 low-fat, low-calorie, nutritionally-balanced meals every week, go with cereal for breakfast and resolve in your own mind that it’s ok to eat a frozen meal or take-out pizza a few times a week.
• You do not have to wash your windows every spring (it’s been 7 springs since I’ve washed mine. We’ve lived in our home for 7 years.) It’s ok to just vacuum the “middle” of the floor and not move anything. It’s OK to dust around things.
• Instead of baking dozens of different varieties of cookies for school kids, neighbors, teachers, Sunday School teachers, and family members, bake a batch of cupcakes and take one to each of your favorite neighbors.
• Rather than having a huge garden and being frustrated at being unable to keep up with it, plant a few of your favorite veggies in easy-to-care for pots or other containers. I’ve satisfied my gardening “bug” by planting herbs in pots and growing them on our deck, where they’re easy to care for and use.
• If there’s something that truly has to be done, consider hiring someone else to do it. Sometimes the cost is well worth getting that thing off of your to-do list.

And don’t feel guilty about taking these measures; you and your family will benefit from the extra time you have to spend with them, and the better mood you’ll be in. And remember that “There is a time for everything and a season for every activity under heaven.”( Ecclesiastes 3:1) Throughout you life your schedule and commitments will change, and with that what you are able to do, will also change.

It’s bittersweet to know that next fall will start empty-nest time for me. On the one hand, I’ll have a lot more time to work on the Nebraska Family Times and write. But of course it’s going to be a huge change to not have our kids at home! I am going to enjoy every moment of the time before they both leave for college…I can move all the furniture when I vacuum when they’ve both gone back to college.

I’m also taking part in the Blogging A to Z Challenge on my other blog, at Nebraska Family Times. Check there today for a devotion about “God’s Ear.” 

Blogging A to Z Challenge

“Distractions”

Yesterday I encouraged you to care for your spirit, and today I’m going to give some hints for dealing with the distractions that will try to keep you away from doing just that.

I remember one day a year or so ago when I was excited about reading the Bible, starting with Genesis. I was so eager to read the Creation story, take notes, journal, and really get “into” what I was reading.

My plan was to get a few things done around the house—start a load of laundry, put supper in the crockpot, and return an urgent e-mail—and then start.

I did those things and eagerly sat down to begin reading.

Within two minutes, the dog wanted to go outside. I let her out, then in, gave her a treat, and sat back down. The cat wanted out. I remembered something I’d forgotten in my e-mail, and sent another before I forgot—again!—what I’d forgotten the first time. The buzzer on the dryer went off and I got the clothes out before they wrinkled (I hate to iron).

I read a few more verses…and the cat wanted back in. The dog wanted out again. Supper in the crock pot needed to be stirred. The dog wanted to come in. The other cat wanted to go out.

Finally I decided to sit outside and read to get away from the distractions in the house. I got all settled with my Bible and journal…and realized I’d forgotten a pen. Got settled again…and the dog, lonely inside, wanted to come out and sit by me. Read a few verses and realized the sun was a little hot and I needed something to drink.

And so it went. Distractions prevented me from reading more than a few verses of Genesis on that day. I am convinced that the devil uses distractions to keep us from nurturing our spiritual life. And he is sneaky about it! After all, all of my “distractions” were things I “had” to do, and it was easy to convince myself that I “had” to take care of the distractions in the midst of—or before I began—my Bible study.

After a few days of Bible study times like this, I decided I had to be proactive in getting rid of or minimizing these distractions. If you get distracted during Bible study, try some of these tips:

• Time of Day: Through trial and error I found that early morning—before anyone is up (besides the dog and cats…more about them later)—is the best time for me to do Bible study. I pray every day for the desire to get up early—and I go to bed early as well. Find the time of day that is best for you!
•  Place: Designate a place for devotions; a desk or comfy chair in the corner of your bedroom. I use an old computer desk that didn’t fit in my husband’s office, and a low coffee table acts as a bookshelf.
• Supplies: Gather everything you’ll need; Bible, Bible study books, journal, pens and/or pencils, etc., and arrange them on your Bible study desk or on a coffee table or in a basket where you’ll be doing your study.
• I have sticky notes on my desk (or in my basket) so when I remember a task or “to-do” I can jot it down right then and there and get my mind back on the Bible. I also have notecards on which to write verses that touch my heart, Kleenexes, and a bottle of Tums for those days my acid reflux acts up. I leave a fuzzy robe or blanket in my office for chilly winter mornings. Anticipate things that will make your time special; I often mix up hot chocolate or chai for a treat during that time.
• Prepare: I’ve realized that our dog inevitably hears me and gets up when I do, no matter how early it is! Before I sit down to do Bible study I let her out, let her in, and give her her breakfast. If you do your study during the day, consider turning the phone off (or bringing it with you so you don’t have to run for it; use caller ID to see if you truly need to answer).  Check supper, put another load of laundry in—and if you forget to do these things before you start, don’t interrupt your study, jot the task on a sticky note and do it later.
• Priority: Make Bible study a priority. If you choose to do your study when your kids are napping, after your husband goes to work, or before bed, DO your study right after the kids go to bed (trying to start supper first guarantees a “no nap” day), immediately after your husband leaves (no “quick” phone call first) or right when you crawl into bed (before you turn the TV on.) I don’t turn my computer on until after I’ve done my study; if I do, I’m sure to be distracted by e-mails I “have” to return right away. Determine to not let anything that is not of critical importance (a crying baby or the smell of smoke) interrupt your time.

• Pray for God to help you keep your mind focused, and guard you from distractions. Here are several verses that I use:
• “May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in Your sight, O Lord, my Rock and My Redeemer.” Psalm 19:14
• “Open my eyes, that I may behold wondrous things out of Your law.” Psalm 119:18
• “Be still and know that I am God.” Psalm 46:10

 These are suggestions, not rules! Depending on the age of your children, out of home commitments, and your own personal schedule, you might have to modify these suggestions. Remember that it’s ok to change your schedule according to events in your home or the rhythm of your life; for example, I can’t sit outside to do Bible study during the Nebraska winter! When I’m convinced spring is here to stay, I’ll gather my tools in a basket again so I can easily take them outside.

What are your tips for dealing with distractions during Bible study time? 

Share them in the comments.

 (I’m also doing the A to Z Challenge at my other blog at the Nebraska Family Times , where I’m blogging about “Spiritual Discernment” today.) 

Blogging A to Z -- Caring for Your Spirit

By Shelly Burke

(Adapted from the book Home is Where the Mom Is; A Christian Mom’s Guide to Caring for Herself, Her Family, and Her Home.)

The spiritual aspect of your life is the base upon which you build your beliefs and values. You can draw strength and guidance from your Christian beliefs in all aspects of your life, from the mundane details of daily life to the life-changing events.

The Bible offers guidance, answers, and encouragement (go to http://nebraskafamilytimes.blogspot.com/2012/04/to-z-challenge-day-2-letter-b.html for suggestions about reading your Bible). God is a source of comfort, an anchor in times of trouble, and the One to whom you can turn any time, any where, and in any and every situation. Faith can bring comfort when nothing else, and no one else, can.

In Hebrews 13:5 God reassures you; “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.” Never. No matter what. No exceptions. He will be there.

Make God Part of Every Day

Caring for your spirit is much more than just attending church and saying prayers at meals and bedtime. It’s vital to work to develop a personal relationship with God. The prophet Isaiah promises that, “The Lord will keep in perfect peace all those…whose thoughts turn often to the Lord.” (Isaiah 26:3)

Here are some hints for integrating your faith into every part of your daily life:

• Use everyday tasks as a time for prayer. As you fold clothes, pray for the person whose clothes you’re folding. As you cook, pray for those in need. As you clean, pray for those who perform services for your family; teachers, pastors, priests, doctors and nurses. When you’re driving, pray for your friends.
• Write favorite Bible verses on notecards and post them where you’ll see them throughout the day; your bathroom mirror, refrigerator, dashboard of your car, the bulletin board in your office.
• Keep a book of short devotions in the car, and read one when you have “waiting” time. My favorites are Beautiful Feet, Treasured, and A Chocolate Life, all by my favorite author Deb Burma. You can order these purse-sized and very budget-friendly books at www.cph.org.
• Read the chapter of Proverbs that corresponds to the date. For example, today is April 3, so read Proverbs 3.
•  Listen to Christian music while you’re working around your house or in your car.
• Start a Joy Journal. List 5 things every day that you are thankful for, from the little things (a short line at the grocery store) to the large, like your family. The Bible tells us we should be “always giving thanks…for everything.” (Ephesians 5:20) Keeping a Joy Journal will draw your attention to the many, many blessings God gives you every day. Research has found that an “attitude of gratitude” has been linked to better sleep, a decrease in anxiety, and higher satisfaction with life in general.
• Pray that God will increase your faith and create in you the desire to know more about Him.

 Your spiritual life should permeate all aspects of your life; nurture your relationship with the Lord and it will pay off beyond your wildest dreams!

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I’m also doing the “Blogging A to Z Challenge” at www.nebraskafamilytimes.blogspot.com. Today’s devotion is titled “Communicating with God.” Check it out!