This article is the
first in a series titled “Teach Your Children Well.” As parents, our job is to
teach our children, and what better instruction book than the Bible? I’ve tried
to teach our children from the Bible since they were little. They are 18 years
old and 20 years old now; Cody will be a junior in college and Morgan a
freshman. And I’m still teaching them from the Bible. I hope that you’ll get
ideas for teaching your children of any age to follow God and do His will
through the posts in this series.
Bad Company Ruins Good Morals
By Shelly Burke
“Do not
be deceived; “bad company ruins good morals.”” (1 Corinthians
15:33)
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| (from Google Images) |
My study Bible notes say that this quote was taken from a
Greek comedy that the people of Corinth
would be familiar with, so Paul used these words when he was talking to them. In this case the “bad company” was the group
of people who were teaching that Christ had not risen after His crucifixion. Hanging
around these people was likely to ruin the “good morals” of those who did
believe in the resurrection.
How can you teach
your children about the influence of others?
When our kids are toddlers we have control over who they
spend time with. When they enter school we have less influence as they’re out
of our care for several hours of each day. As they get older and involved in
more activities, there are more and more outside influences that can affect the
way they act and think. As our daughter Morgan prepares to go to college—in
another state!—I realize that my time as an influence in her every day life is
almost over. I pray that Tim and I have taught her well!
When your kids are small, keep it simple. They’re not likely
to pick up things that will be against your morals at a young age, but other
families who don’t share your values might expose your kids to things that
don’t fit in with your morals—R rated DVDs, swearing, and so on. Consider
inviting kids from those families to your home, both to guard against bad
influences and so that you can influence them in a positive way.
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| (from Google Images) |
As kids get older, be cautious about not allowing them to
spend time with certain kids, or criticizing those kids who don’t share your
values and morals. Instead of forbidding contact (which is probably impossible
if they attend the same school, church, or activities and your forbidding it
may make your child want to spend more time with that child) point out
behaviors that you see that don’t fit in with your morals. “Did you see those parents yelling and cussing at the ref at the t-ball
game? That is not the way to handle the situation.” or, “I
know that Cynthia’s family watches TV shows that I don’t want you to watch.
They show things that we don’t do and don’t approve of because they’re not what
Jesus would want us to do.”
How can a group
influence an individual?
Start introducing the concept of how
groups can affect a person’s actions—both in positive and negative ways. Even
if your child wouldn’t normally steal, smoke, or take part in activities that
you would frown upon, peer pressure and being in a group in which these
activities are accepted and encouraged, can make them seem acceptable.
When your kids are in middle-school and high-school, talk
about “real life” events in their own lives and the lives of their classmates
and friends in relation to the company they keep and the morals that their
actions demonstrate. Unfortunately, you’ll have plenty of opportunities to talk
about the long-term negative effects of unintended pregnancy, drug use, cheating,
lying, sneaking out, dropping out of school, and so on, as so many of these
negative things are acceptable to so much of the world. Again point out how
groups can affect an individual’s behaviors, both positive and negative.
Be sure to make these conversations—not lectures in which
you’re the only one talking. Ask your child why he thinks “good” kids sometimes
get involved with “bad” groups. Talk about how bad decisions can have very
long-term affect on someone’s life.
Provide a way out
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| (from Google Images) |
Talk with your child about how he or she can get out of a
situation if necessary; my dad frequently reminded my sisters and I that we
needed to have a plan before we got
into a bad situation (of course it’s ideal to avoid situations like this, but a
group can quickly and unexpectedly decide to do something; it’s best to make
sure your child is prepared for this!).
Practice conversations in which you play someone pressuring
your child to drink alcohol, cheat on a test, have sex, and so on. When your
child has a ready response he is much less likely to get caught up in negative
activities. Reassure your child that you will pick him up from any location, at
any time, with just a phone call.
Remember that at some point kids are responsible for their
own decisions, and they’ll probably make some that you wouldn’t approve of,
regardless of the example you’ve set and the teaching you’ve done. Even kids
brought up in a Christian family make bad decisions. Never stop praying for
your child to remember what he or she has been taught.
What are you going to
do to prepare your child for “bad company”?
Click
to read about my time as the camp nurse at His Kids Camp last week.
