Blogging from A to Z Challenge, "Goals"

“Goals”

How many goals did you set prior to Jan. 1 of this year? And how many of them have you accomplished? How many are you still working on? How many of them do you actually remember? Um...yeah, me too. 

While our society is very goal-oriented, it can be difficult to make good goals that you'll be able to work towards and achieve. Setting and working towards goals, though, gives a focus to your work—whether work as a mom, home-manager, nurse, or any other occupation. And reaching a goal gives a feeling of satisfaction and confidence.

Use these simple goal-setting guidelines and steps to improve yourself and/or evaluate your work as a mom as a business owner, or to assess how you’re doing as a home manager (which all moms are, whether or not they have a paying, out-of-home job).

To be Effective, Goals Must Be…

1. Measurable. You must be able to measure your goal so you can tell whether you’ve met it or not.

o       It’s impossible to measure goals like, “I will exercise more” or “This year I’m going to save money.”

o       You can, however, measure these goals: “I will walk for 30 minutes a day, three or four times a week” or “I will save $100 every month.”

o       Goals don’t have to contain numbers to be measurable, as long as you yourself can measure them. For example, one of my goals is, “My home will be clean enough that I will be comfortable if a guest drops by unexpectedly.” Feeling “comfortable” is different for everyone, but I can measure my own personal level of “comfortable.”

2. Attainable/realistic. Good goals make you stretch a little to meet them but are not set so high that they’re unreachable. For example, “I will lose 25 lbs. for swimsuit season, in two months,” is not attainable! A more realistic goal might be, “I will lose 1 lb. a week for the next two months.”
3. Meaningful. If you don’t care about having an immaculate lawn and huge garden, you’ll have a hard time working toward that goal. If you hate doing crunches, don’t make them part of your exercise routine!

 How to Set Goals

1. Write them down and share them with someone. Writing down goals makes them real and commits you to working on them and sharing them with someone else makes you accountable. You’ll be much more likely to stick to your exercise routine when you know a friend is going to ask you if you’ve done it!
2. Document results. Keep track of your progress by putting a star on your calendar when you exercise or keep a journal of the money you’ve saved. You’ll feel a sense of accomplishment at working toward and meeting your goals, and having visible proof will provide evidence of what you’re doing.
3. Make intermediate goals. If you have a big goal, or a long-term one, you’ll need intermediate goals. For example, if your goal is “Clean my whole house, basement to attic, including all of the drawers and closets, by this time next year,” you’ll be overwhelmed without smaller goals. Your intermediate goals might include, “This month I’ll clean my bedroom. Next month I’ll clean all of the storage room in the basement.”
4. Evaluate your goals. Evaluate each goal a month or so after you make it. If you’ve met the goal, congratulations! It’s time to make a new goal.

o       If you haven’t met it, however, re-evaluate your goal. Did you not meet it because it was unrealistic? If so, re-write it. Was it not met because of unanticipated circumstances, like a car repair bill or illness? Try it for another month. Is the goal still important to you? If not, drop it or change it to a goal that does matter to you.

o       It’s OK to revise, change, or even drop your goals. They’re not set in stone, they’re a stepping stone to what and where and who you want to be.

5. Give yourself rewards! This is the FUN part of making goals. Along with the satisfaction of meeting your goals, rewards will motivate you! Just don’t reward a week of regular exercising with a hot fudge sundae! Base rewards on what motivates you. Maybe you’ll reward your regular exercise with a new workout shirt, or getting your closet cleaned by soaking in a bubble bath while reading a new novel.

 Don’t be intimidated by all of these guidelines and steps to making your goals! The process is vital and really very simple to follow. You’ll feel a wonderful sense of accomplishment when you work toward and meet your goals!  

Home is Where the Mom Is; A Christian Mom’s Guide to Caring for Herself, Her Family, and Her Home lists suggested goals at the end of each chapter so readers can, if they want to work on that area of their lives, measure their accomplishments.

I’m also blogging at www.nebraskafamilytimes.blogspot.com, my other blog. Check out today’s post, titled “Gravel Roads.” 

Blogging A to Z Challenge

“55 Things you can do in Just Five Minutes”

AND "Freebie Friday!"

It’s Freebie Friday! When you comment on this blog entry you’ll be entered to win one of three personally autographed copies of Home is Where the Mom Is; A Christian Mom’s Guide to Caring for Herself, Her Family, and Her Home. Winners will be randomly chosen from the comments. Tell me what you can do in just five minutes, or which of these suggestions you’re going to try next time you have a few minutes to spare. Winners will be notified by e-mail, so please make sure we can click on your name and contact you for your address and to whom you’d like the book autographed. GOOD LUCK!

You’re waiting for the kids to collect everything they need before you drive them to school. Or you’re husband is just finishing a phone call before you head out for a date. Or the pork chops are almost done defrosting in the microwave.

Rather than “frittering the time away” (as my wise father would say), challenge yourself to accomplish something. You’ll be surprised at what you can accomplish in just a few minutes! This is by no means a complete list, but will get you into the habit of using even just a few minutes to do a simple task.

In your bedroom:

1. Organize one dresser drawer.
2. Straighten your shoes.
3. Sort the stuff on your bedside table.
4. Give your husband a long hug and a big kiss.

In the kitchen:

5. Clear out the dishwasher (I’ve timed myself—it usually takes less than 3 minutes).
6. Discard leftovers from the refrigerator.
7. Go through the pantry and make a grocery list.
8. Start your meal plan for the next week.
9. Clean one cupboard.
10. When you’re cooking, brown an extra pound of hamburger so you can make a quick casserole on a rushed day.

In the bathroom:

11. Fold a load of clothes.
12. Toss your old toothbrushes and get out new ones.
13. Clear off the counter.
14. Experiment with a new makeup look or hairstyle.
15. Check your supply of toilet paper, soup, shampoo, etc., and add to your list if any are low.

In the car:

16. Sort through the glove box.
17. Take a few deep breaths to relax.
18. Read a magazine article.
19. File or buff your finger nails.
20. Do isometric exercises; tense and relax your abs, for example.
21. Gather all of the sippy cups, empty water bottles, tissues, and loose pieces of paper in the back seat.

When you’re talking on the phone:

22. Set the table.
23. Sort laundry.
24. Iron.
25. Lotion your legs.
26. Sit with your feet up.

Before bed:

27. Get out the clothes you’ll wear in the morning.
28. Put the dishes in the dishwasher.
29. Get the first load of clothes ready to wash.
30. Talk—really talk, and listen—to your husband.
31. Read a short devotion or chapter of Proverbs.

In the living room:

32. Straighten out the DVDs.
33. Turn over and fluff the couch cushions.
34. Water the plants.
35. Pick up everything off the floor so it’s easy to vacuum.
36. Play a game of Chinese Checkers.

At your desk:

37. Write a thank-you note, or note of encouragement.
38. Look at your birthday and anniversary list for the next month and check your supply of cards for those occasions.
39. Jot down ideas for your next project.
40. Check your supply of paper clips, pens, sticky notes, etc.

Through the whole house (or at least several rooms):

41. Empty all of the wastebaskets.
42. Pick up all of the stray coats, shoes, socks, towels, etc.
43. Collect all of the glasses, dishes and silverware.
44. Spray air freshener in every room.
45. Have a tickle fight!
46. Call a friend just to say, “I’m thinking of and praying for you.”

For your health:

47. Jump rope.
48. Learn to take your pulse.
49. Walk around the block or go up and down the stairs.
50. Stretch.
51. Eat a piece of fruit.

With your kids:

52. Talk about the day.
53. Say a prayer together.
54. Play tag.
55. Hug!

 You can see from this list that there are many things you can accomplish in just a few minutes! Change your mindset; rather than thinking “It’s only a few minutes; I can’t get anything done!” challenge yourself—“What can I accomplish in five minutes?”

  

(Excerpted from Home is Where the Mom Is; A Christian Mom’s Guide to Caring for Herself, Her Family, and Her Home. For ordering information, click on the link in the sidebar.)

I’m also blogging at Nebraska Family Times. Today’s post is titled “Good Friday?”

A to Z Blogging Challenge

“Expectations—Revising Unrealistic Ones”

(Adapted from Home is Where the Mom Is; A Christian Mom’s Guide to Caring for Herself, Her Family, and Her Home. See sidebar for ordering information.)

(Be sure to check back tomorrow for "Freebie Friday"!) 

Unrealistic Expectations

Unrealistic expectations. I knew I had them when my kids were young and I was at home with them all day…but I didn’t know I’d have them even now, when I’m…um…40-something…and one child is in college and one is about to graduate.

When my kids were toddlers I expected that I would be the type of mom to sew all of their clothes (my mom sewed all of the *matching* clothes my sisters and I wore), complete multiple craft projects (again, like my mom), cook three well-balanced and yummy-tasting meals every day (my mom was a super-mom!).

                                                                                                                           

For a very long time I tried to do all of the above…feeling that I was a failure for not being just like my mom. 

Unrealistic expectations can be demoralizing to any mom, and in your life as a “real life” mom you’ll probably have to change some of your expectations about every-day activities, hobbies, and projects.

Instead of looking at decreasing your unrealistic expectations of yourself as a failure, look at it as giving priority to what is most important—your kids and your husband, and your own sanity.

Detecting Unrealistic Expectations

Whether you’re a new mom or an almost-empty-nest mom, if an item shows up on your to-do list week after week—whether it’s a dreaded chore or something that “should” be fun—ask yourself if it’s really worth doing. Despite the expectations of your in-laws or friends, it’s not necessary to move all the furniture every time you vacuum (or every other time…or…more than once every six months)!

What about “fun” things you “should” enjoy doing, like planting flowers or doing craft projects with your kids? If you don’t enjoy doing them, find something else—something you do enjoy, to do! Just because someone else finds happiness in an activity does not mean you have to. Life is to short to guilt yourself into doing something you don’t enjoy.

Revising Unrealistic Expectations (and saving your sanity)

Remember the old cliché’ “If something is worth doing, it’s worth doing right?” My motto is, “Some things are worth doing 100%, but many things can be done 50% or less and still be acceptable.” Save your sanity—lower your standards! Look at the activities on which you spend a lot of time doing to your (maybe unrealistic) and figure out how you can lower those standards.

• Rather than sort old baby clothes by age, size, and season, sort them by boy clothes and girl clothes, or by size.
• Instead of pressuring yourself to cook 21 low-fat, low-calorie, nutritionally-balanced meals every week, go with cereal for breakfast and resolve in your own mind that it’s ok to eat a frozen meal or take-out pizza a few times a week.
• You do not have to wash your windows every spring (it’s been 7 springs since I’ve washed mine. We’ve lived in our home for 7 years.) It’s ok to just vacuum the “middle” of the floor and not move anything. It’s OK to dust around things.
• Instead of baking dozens of different varieties of cookies for school kids, neighbors, teachers, Sunday School teachers, and family members, bake a batch of cupcakes and take one to each of your favorite neighbors.
• Rather than having a huge garden and being frustrated at being unable to keep up with it, plant a few of your favorite veggies in easy-to-care for pots or other containers. I’ve satisfied my gardening “bug” by planting herbs in pots and growing them on our deck, where they’re easy to care for and use.
• If there’s something that truly has to be done, consider hiring someone else to do it. Sometimes the cost is well worth getting that thing off of your to-do list.

And don’t feel guilty about taking these measures; you and your family will benefit from the extra time you have to spend with them, and the better mood you’ll be in. And remember that “There is a time for everything and a season for every activity under heaven.”( Ecclesiastes 3:1) Throughout you life your schedule and commitments will change, and with that what you are able to do, will also change.

It’s bittersweet to know that next fall will start empty-nest time for me. On the one hand, I’ll have a lot more time to work on the Nebraska Family Times and write. But of course it’s going to be a huge change to not have our kids at home! I am going to enjoy every moment of the time before they both leave for college…I can move all the furniture when I vacuum when they’ve both gone back to college.

I’m also taking part in the Blogging A to Z Challenge on my other blog, at Nebraska Family Times. Check there today for a devotion about “God’s Ear.” 

Blogging A to Z Challenge

“Distractions”

Yesterday I encouraged you to care for your spirit, and today I’m going to give some hints for dealing with the distractions that will try to keep you away from doing just that.

I remember one day a year or so ago when I was excited about reading the Bible, starting with Genesis. I was so eager to read the Creation story, take notes, journal, and really get “into” what I was reading.

My plan was to get a few things done around the house—start a load of laundry, put supper in the crockpot, and return an urgent e-mail—and then start.

I did those things and eagerly sat down to begin reading.

Within two minutes, the dog wanted to go outside. I let her out, then in, gave her a treat, and sat back down. The cat wanted out. I remembered something I’d forgotten in my e-mail, and sent another before I forgot—again!—what I’d forgotten the first time. The buzzer on the dryer went off and I got the clothes out before they wrinkled (I hate to iron).

I read a few more verses…and the cat wanted back in. The dog wanted out again. Supper in the crock pot needed to be stirred. The dog wanted to come in. The other cat wanted to go out.

Finally I decided to sit outside and read to get away from the distractions in the house. I got all settled with my Bible and journal…and realized I’d forgotten a pen. Got settled again…and the dog, lonely inside, wanted to come out and sit by me. Read a few verses and realized the sun was a little hot and I needed something to drink.

And so it went. Distractions prevented me from reading more than a few verses of Genesis on that day. I am convinced that the devil uses distractions to keep us from nurturing our spiritual life. And he is sneaky about it! After all, all of my “distractions” were things I “had” to do, and it was easy to convince myself that I “had” to take care of the distractions in the midst of—or before I began—my Bible study.

After a few days of Bible study times like this, I decided I had to be proactive in getting rid of or minimizing these distractions. If you get distracted during Bible study, try some of these tips:

• Time of Day: Through trial and error I found that early morning—before anyone is up (besides the dog and cats…more about them later)—is the best time for me to do Bible study. I pray every day for the desire to get up early—and I go to bed early as well. Find the time of day that is best for you!
•  Place: Designate a place for devotions; a desk or comfy chair in the corner of your bedroom. I use an old computer desk that didn’t fit in my husband’s office, and a low coffee table acts as a bookshelf.
• Supplies: Gather everything you’ll need; Bible, Bible study books, journal, pens and/or pencils, etc., and arrange them on your Bible study desk or on a coffee table or in a basket where you’ll be doing your study.
• I have sticky notes on my desk (or in my basket) so when I remember a task or “to-do” I can jot it down right then and there and get my mind back on the Bible. I also have notecards on which to write verses that touch my heart, Kleenexes, and a bottle of Tums for those days my acid reflux acts up. I leave a fuzzy robe or blanket in my office for chilly winter mornings. Anticipate things that will make your time special; I often mix up hot chocolate or chai for a treat during that time.
• Prepare: I’ve realized that our dog inevitably hears me and gets up when I do, no matter how early it is! Before I sit down to do Bible study I let her out, let her in, and give her her breakfast. If you do your study during the day, consider turning the phone off (or bringing it with you so you don’t have to run for it; use caller ID to see if you truly need to answer).  Check supper, put another load of laundry in—and if you forget to do these things before you start, don’t interrupt your study, jot the task on a sticky note and do it later.
• Priority: Make Bible study a priority. If you choose to do your study when your kids are napping, after your husband goes to work, or before bed, DO your study right after the kids go to bed (trying to start supper first guarantees a “no nap” day), immediately after your husband leaves (no “quick” phone call first) or right when you crawl into bed (before you turn the TV on.) I don’t turn my computer on until after I’ve done my study; if I do, I’m sure to be distracted by e-mails I “have” to return right away. Determine to not let anything that is not of critical importance (a crying baby or the smell of smoke) interrupt your time.

• Pray for God to help you keep your mind focused, and guard you from distractions. Here are several verses that I use:
• “May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in Your sight, O Lord, my Rock and My Redeemer.” Psalm 19:14
• “Open my eyes, that I may behold wondrous things out of Your law.” Psalm 119:18
• “Be still and know that I am God.” Psalm 46:10

 These are suggestions, not rules! Depending on the age of your children, out of home commitments, and your own personal schedule, you might have to modify these suggestions. Remember that it’s ok to change your schedule according to events in your home or the rhythm of your life; for example, I can’t sit outside to do Bible study during the Nebraska winter! When I’m convinced spring is here to stay, I’ll gather my tools in a basket again so I can easily take them outside.

What are your tips for dealing with distractions during Bible study time? 

Share them in the comments.

 (I’m also doing the A to Z Challenge at my other blog at the Nebraska Family Times , where I’m blogging about “Spiritual Discernment” today.) 

Blogging A to Z -- Caring for Your Spirit

By Shelly Burke

(Adapted from the book Home is Where the Mom Is; A Christian Mom’s Guide to Caring for Herself, Her Family, and Her Home.)

The spiritual aspect of your life is the base upon which you build your beliefs and values. You can draw strength and guidance from your Christian beliefs in all aspects of your life, from the mundane details of daily life to the life-changing events.

The Bible offers guidance, answers, and encouragement (go to http://nebraskafamilytimes.blogspot.com/2012/04/to-z-challenge-day-2-letter-b.html for suggestions about reading your Bible). God is a source of comfort, an anchor in times of trouble, and the One to whom you can turn any time, any where, and in any and every situation. Faith can bring comfort when nothing else, and no one else, can.

In Hebrews 13:5 God reassures you; “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.” Never. No matter what. No exceptions. He will be there.

Make God Part of Every Day

Caring for your spirit is much more than just attending church and saying prayers at meals and bedtime. It’s vital to work to develop a personal relationship with God. The prophet Isaiah promises that, “The Lord will keep in perfect peace all those…whose thoughts turn often to the Lord.” (Isaiah 26:3)

Here are some hints for integrating your faith into every part of your daily life:

• Use everyday tasks as a time for prayer. As you fold clothes, pray for the person whose clothes you’re folding. As you cook, pray for those in need. As you clean, pray for those who perform services for your family; teachers, pastors, priests, doctors and nurses. When you’re driving, pray for your friends.
• Write favorite Bible verses on notecards and post them where you’ll see them throughout the day; your bathroom mirror, refrigerator, dashboard of your car, the bulletin board in your office.
• Keep a book of short devotions in the car, and read one when you have “waiting” time. My favorites are Beautiful Feet, Treasured, and A Chocolate Life, all by my favorite author Deb Burma. You can order these purse-sized and very budget-friendly books at www.cph.org.
• Read the chapter of Proverbs that corresponds to the date. For example, today is April 3, so read Proverbs 3.
•  Listen to Christian music while you’re working around your house or in your car.
• Start a Joy Journal. List 5 things every day that you are thankful for, from the little things (a short line at the grocery store) to the large, like your family. The Bible tells us we should be “always giving thanks…for everything.” (Ephesians 5:20) Keeping a Joy Journal will draw your attention to the many, many blessings God gives you every day. Research has found that an “attitude of gratitude” has been linked to better sleep, a decrease in anxiety, and higher satisfaction with life in general.
• Pray that God will increase your faith and create in you the desire to know more about Him.

 Your spiritual life should permeate all aspects of your life; nurture your relationship with the Lord and it will pay off beyond your wildest dreams!

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I’m also doing the “Blogging A to Z Challenge” at www.nebraskafamilytimes.blogspot.com. Today’s devotion is titled “Communicating with God.” Check it out! 

Blogging From A to Z, Day Two, The Letter "B"

Getting Through a Bad Day

By Shelly Burke

Sometimes you get out of bed just knowing it will be a bad day. Other days start off just fine and then get bad after a phone call, spill, or something in the mail (or not in the mail!). PMS or not feeling well, although no guarantee of a bad day, can certainly make a day bad, as can a fight with your husband or kids.

Sometimes there seems to be no reason for a bad day besides a generic “funk” feeling. As David lamented, “Why are you in despair, O my soul? And why have you become disturbed within me?” (Psalm 42:5)

Take these steps to help you get through the bad day.

1. First of all, do something from your to-do list. Pick something that easy to complete so you feel you’ve accomplished something; fold a load of towels or clear out the dishwasher. Cross it off and then give yourself a break and forget your to-do list for the rest of the day!
2. Have you been spending time with God on a regular basis? If not, resolve to do so, even if you just read a few Bible verses. Read a Psalm (or Philippians 1, or Romans 8:18-39). Search for verses that will encourage you, write them on notecards and put the notecards where you’ll see them every day. Know that God loves you no matter your mood!
3. Now do something nice for YOU! Call a friend you haven’t talked to for awhile. Start that new novel you’ve been too busy for. Spend time on a craft you’ve wanted to try. While your kids are napping, curl up under a blanket and take a nap—or cuddle with them while they sleep. Eat a big bowl of popcorn (with extra butter!) or some more chocolate. Listen to music and sing along!
4. Don’t cook—order take-out, ask your husband to bring something home, get something out of the freezer, or have a simple breakfast for supper. 
5. Above all, give yourself a break. As a mom you have many roles and are responsible for a countless number of details that keep your household running. Everyone has “off” days; no one can operate at 100% (or even 90%) all of the time. It’s OK to have a bad day!
6. If you have a lot of bad days, try to figure out why. Do you need take a little more time for yourself every day, to prevent some bad days? Time with God will almost always improve your mood, as will regular exercise and eating healthily (for the most part anyway—treats are necessary too!). Are you putting too much pressure on yourself to be perfect?

Before you go to sleep, pray for a better tomorrow. And when you wake up, make your first thought, “This is the day that the Lord has made! I will rejoice and be glad in it!” Psalm 118:24.

Do you know someone who is having a bad day? Please consider forwarding  this article to them!

(this excerpt is adapted  from Shelly’s book Home is Where the Mom Is; a Christian Mom’s Guide to Caring for Herself, Her Family, and Her Home. To order, see the sidebar.)

Shelly is also blogging every day at www.nebraskafamilytimes.blogspot.com. Read today’s entry, “The Bible Tells Me So,” at that link. 

Blogging from A to Z April Challenge

When I saw this challenge (http://www.a-to-zchallenge.com/) I immediately knew I wanted to join!

I will be blogging every day – except Sunday (with the exception of today, since it’s April 1^st) – throughout April. I will be posting on both of my blogs—Nebraska Family Times – www.nebraskafamilytimes.blogspot.com and Home is Where the Mom Is – www.achristianmomsguide.blogspot.com.

Each day’s theme will correspond to the letter of that day; today, April 1^st, the letter is “A” and the theme is “About the Blogging from A to Z Challenge.”

Tomorrow is “B” and the theme on the Nebraska Family Times blog will be “The Bible—My Favorite  Book.” The theme on the Home is Where the Mom Is blog will be “Bad Days—Surviving Them”.

Other days will feature devotions I’ve written, devotions by other authors, excerpts from my book Home is Where the Mom Is; A Christian Mom’s Guide to Caring for Herself, Her Family, and Her Home, links to my favorite websites and blogs, and more! Be sure to check in on “Freebie Fridays” where your comments might get you—you guessed it!—a freebie!

“Like” the Nebraska Family Times and Home is Where the Mom Is Facebook pages, or sign up to “follow” each blog and you’ll receive notification when the blog entries are posted!

Part 2 of the “A” theme: “A few of my favorite blogs—check them out!”

• “Fragrant Offerings” by Deb Burma at www.debburma.blogspot.com (my FAVORITE Christian author and speaker—and I get to sit by her in church and Bible class too!)
• Proverbs 31 www.proverbs31.org (many Christian writers and books)
• “The Happiness Project” www.happiness-project.com (I loved the book too!)
• “168 Hours; You have more Time than You Think” (a great book as well!)     http://lauravanderkam.com/
• http://www.nebfc.org --the Nebraska Family Council—keep up-to-date on issues important to Nebraska Families, including legislation to watch

See you tomorrow!